Gee, good question. For the past few years, I've been wondering the same thing myself. Seeing as I'm only 26, it's actually totally normal for people my age to NOT be married. But coming out of a 4 year on-again-off-again relationship with someone I thought I was going to marry leaves me feeling like maybe I did something wrong. Why am I still alone? As sad as I am that that relationship is over (and trust me, it has been a looooong process), I am beginning to feel like there really is someone else out there for me. It's amazing how love affects one's mind. For me, I can just think about that last love and start crying. What if he finds someone else and falls in love with her? What if he treats her like I always deserved to be treated? Why me? Why?! I'm starting to understand why... I think God allows us to go through different things for various reasons, but I feel I have learned (and am still learning) a great deal from that relationship. Even with all of the good, the bad, and the certainly ugly, I have grown as a person and a woman. As anxious as I am to find "the one", I am content knowing that I am continually striving to be the best version of me and will one day meet him.
So blessed. So very blessed.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
It's been awhile...
Well, after reading through my "Operation: Halloween" posts from September, it's safe to say a lot has happened since then.
Like most women, I was (and more often than not still am) struggling with self-image, and more specifically, I was struggling with the fact that over the course of a few months, I had gained back all of the weight I lost last year and then some on top of that. I loathed myself and was ashamed that I had let myself go. Not liking yourself sucks. Period.
Fast forward to now-ish. Thanks to my return to church (you never know what you're missing until you don't go for over a year) and a great blogger I follow on facebook by the name of Go Kaleo, I am beginning the healing process of what has turned into food restriction and consequently binge eating/drinking. I spent the month of April (+3 days) alcohol-free, and it was AWESOME. Before choosing to not drink (which some may consider a restriction of sorts), I was using alcohol (and food, of course) to be my cure all for life's stresses. Obviously I have started drinking again, and while it is fun, I know that I don't have to do it to have a good time. Plus, I want to get healthy for myself, and alcohol just doesn't need to be in my life to the extent it has been. I've also begun embracing some grains again in the form of Ezekiel wraps and brown rice. I jumped on that Paleo train so fast last year, and while I do agree with most of what those in support of Paleo say, I've come to realize that there is no need to restrict myself from foods that I have no allergy to. What I really want to do is eat the foods that will support my activity level and try to choose "real" foods more often than not. Let's be honest though, I certainly take help where I can get it (thank you steamable rice bags, frozen steamed broccoli bags, and individual almond butter packets), and I do enjoy dessert and snack foods as much as the next gal. The great thing about my ever evolving way of thinking is that I'm FINALLY starting to realize that I am beautiful and completely acceptable the way I am. And hey, some people even find me attractive this way :)
Who knows how long I'll keep up with this blog. Hopefully it will be kind of consistent because ... I MOVE TO COLORADO FOR THE SUMMER!!! I want to blog about my experiences because there is no better/simpler way to keep track of all of the awesome adventures I hope to have.
With that being said, here's to loving yourself, because there is only one you, and YOU are beautiful. Be well, my friends.
-Megan
Like most women, I was (and more often than not still am) struggling with self-image, and more specifically, I was struggling with the fact that over the course of a few months, I had gained back all of the weight I lost last year and then some on top of that. I loathed myself and was ashamed that I had let myself go. Not liking yourself sucks. Period.
Fast forward to now-ish. Thanks to my return to church (you never know what you're missing until you don't go for over a year) and a great blogger I follow on facebook by the name of Go Kaleo, I am beginning the healing process of what has turned into food restriction and consequently binge eating/drinking. I spent the month of April (+3 days) alcohol-free, and it was AWESOME. Before choosing to not drink (which some may consider a restriction of sorts), I was using alcohol (and food, of course) to be my cure all for life's stresses. Obviously I have started drinking again, and while it is fun, I know that I don't have to do it to have a good time. Plus, I want to get healthy for myself, and alcohol just doesn't need to be in my life to the extent it has been. I've also begun embracing some grains again in the form of Ezekiel wraps and brown rice. I jumped on that Paleo train so fast last year, and while I do agree with most of what those in support of Paleo say, I've come to realize that there is no need to restrict myself from foods that I have no allergy to. What I really want to do is eat the foods that will support my activity level and try to choose "real" foods more often than not. Let's be honest though, I certainly take help where I can get it (thank you steamable rice bags, frozen steamed broccoli bags, and individual almond butter packets), and I do enjoy dessert and snack foods as much as the next gal. The great thing about my ever evolving way of thinking is that I'm FINALLY starting to realize that I am beautiful and completely acceptable the way I am. And hey, some people even find me attractive this way :)
Who knows how long I'll keep up with this blog. Hopefully it will be kind of consistent because ... I MOVE TO COLORADO FOR THE SUMMER!!! I want to blog about my experiences because there is no better/simpler way to keep track of all of the awesome adventures I hope to have.
With that being said, here's to loving yourself, because there is only one you, and YOU are beautiful. Be well, my friends.
-Megan
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Day 14: Gotta Find that Groove
Today's workout:
*Rest Day -- I moved some things into the new house, so I did some heavy lifting...
Like yesterday, I don't have much to say about today. Blogging has been kind of hard this weekend. I think the fact that I'm disappointed in myself because I can't find the groove I used to be so good at (regarding eating well and feeling AWESOME about my body) is really messing with my head. I have to learn to be patient because just like last time, change takes time. Hoping I can make this a good week :)
*Rest Day -- I moved some things into the new house, so I did some heavy lifting...
Like yesterday, I don't have much to say about today. Blogging has been kind of hard this weekend. I think the fact that I'm disappointed in myself because I can't find the groove I used to be so good at (regarding eating well and feeling AWESOME about my body) is really messing with my head. I have to learn to be patient because just like last time, change takes time. Hoping I can make this a good week :)
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Day 13 -- Not my best...
Today's Work-Out:
* Rest day
I don't really have much to say in this post. I have eaten like total crap today... I went up to school to get some work done and ate so much kid snacks it's not even funny. I feel like poo now, and of course I'm regretting everything I ate. Sometimes I don't think my goal of getting back into the shape I was is attainable. I don't even know why I'm so down, because on the flip side I am so ecstatic because I CAN MOVE WHENEVER I WANT TO! I do think the stress of moving and work are wearing on my diet... I can do this. My health is important.
Thanks for reading. Until tomorrow.
* Rest day
I don't really have much to say in this post. I have eaten like total crap today... I went up to school to get some work done and ate so much kid snacks it's not even funny. I feel like poo now, and of course I'm regretting everything I ate. Sometimes I don't think my goal of getting back into the shape I was is attainable. I don't even know why I'm so down, because on the flip side I am so ecstatic because I CAN MOVE WHENEVER I WANT TO! I do think the stress of moving and work are wearing on my diet... I can do this. My health is important.
Thanks for reading. Until tomorrow.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Day 12 -- "I Can Tell it's Gonna be a Good Day"
Today's Workout:
WARM-UP:
* 5 min. stairclimber (levels 16,18,20)
WOD:
* 15 min. EMOM of:
- 10 frog thrusters
- 10 hand release push ups
- 10 wall balls (10 lb.)
CONDITIONING:
* 25 sit-ups
* 1 min. Russian Bicycle (Russian Twist position but pedaling)
...THAT'S IT! It was such a "nice" workout today. I don't even think I broke out in a serious sweat.
Yesterday started off pretty crappy with the hellacious workout and just off morning, but the afternoon and evening were really stellar. I worked in my classroom until about 5:45 and got A LOT accomplished. And then I checked my phone and had a message from my BFF Lauren telling me my missing shoe has been found! I thought I lost it back in July while out drinking with her and some friends, but what happened was it got lost under the bed of the family she for which she was housesitting! The lady of the house called Lauren and told her they found it! Hooray for my Snow Leopard TOMS Wedges -- they live again!
Also yesterday, I had 2 helpings of that phenomenal avocado pudding and ate the rest of the chocolate zucchini bread. Both were so delicious, and I'm sure they're supposed to be foods consumed in moderation. Well, I don't understand that word, so I just had to finish everything! Anyway, the bread was delicious, but next time I'm going to make it for a group of people rather than just me. Otherwise, that baby will be gone in 5 days or less :)
Today's Planned Meals:
Breakfast: Protein shake (1 scoop protein, 1/2 c. frozen berries, 4 oz. coconut water, 1/2 banana), 3/4 c. veggie blend, 2-3 pieces bacon (from JOHNNIES!), and coffee w/ coconut milk
Lunch (unless I go out to eat): 2.6 oz. tuna, 1 orange, cucumbers & grape tomatoes
Snack: 1/2 banana, turkey lunch meat
Dinner: Either tilapia OR carnitas meat, 1 c. veggies, guacamole, jicama slices
I am so happy it's Friday! Just like the title of the post says (thanks Priscilla Ahn!), it's gonna be a good day! Oh, and my goal this weekend is to NOT go out. This will be the first time in a long time I have not gone out on a weekend, but I really want to start making this a habit again. I hope this goal is attainable :)
That's all for today. Thanks for reading. Until tomorrow.
P.S. I MOVE NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!
WARM-UP:
* 5 min. stairclimber (levels 16,18,20)
WOD:
* 15 min. EMOM of:
- 10 frog thrusters
- 10 hand release push ups
- 10 wall balls (10 lb.)
CONDITIONING:
* 25 sit-ups
* 1 min. Russian Bicycle (Russian Twist position but pedaling)
...THAT'S IT! It was such a "nice" workout today. I don't even think I broke out in a serious sweat.
Yesterday started off pretty crappy with the hellacious workout and just off morning, but the afternoon and evening were really stellar. I worked in my classroom until about 5:45 and got A LOT accomplished. And then I checked my phone and had a message from my BFF Lauren telling me my missing shoe has been found! I thought I lost it back in July while out drinking with her and some friends, but what happened was it got lost under the bed of the family she for which she was housesitting! The lady of the house called Lauren and told her they found it! Hooray for my Snow Leopard TOMS Wedges -- they live again!
Also yesterday, I had 2 helpings of that phenomenal avocado pudding and ate the rest of the chocolate zucchini bread. Both were so delicious, and I'm sure they're supposed to be foods consumed in moderation. Well, I don't understand that word, so I just had to finish everything! Anyway, the bread was delicious, but next time I'm going to make it for a group of people rather than just me. Otherwise, that baby will be gone in 5 days or less :)
Today's Planned Meals:
Breakfast: Protein shake (1 scoop protein, 1/2 c. frozen berries, 4 oz. coconut water, 1/2 banana), 3/4 c. veggie blend, 2-3 pieces bacon (from JOHNNIES!), and coffee w/ coconut milk
Lunch (unless I go out to eat): 2.6 oz. tuna, 1 orange, cucumbers & grape tomatoes
Snack: 1/2 banana, turkey lunch meat
Dinner: Either tilapia OR carnitas meat, 1 c. veggies, guacamole, jicama slices
I am so happy it's Friday! Just like the title of the post says (thanks Priscilla Ahn!), it's gonna be a good day! Oh, and my goal this weekend is to NOT go out. This will be the first time in a long time I have not gone out on a weekend, but I really want to start making this a habit again. I hope this goal is attainable :)
That's all for today. Thanks for reading. Until tomorrow.
P.S. I MOVE NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Day 11: "Food is Fuel"
Today's Workout:
WARM-UP =
* Run 1 mile (8:10 -- a new PR!)
WOD =
"Fran" (ugh!)
21-15-9 of:
- Thrusters (55 lb. i.e. the most I've ever done)
- Assisted Pull-Ups (40 lb. assist)
TIME = 11:38. Terrible, and I cried half way through it. Today sucked... Oh, but wait, there's more!
CONDITIONING/CARDIO:
* 25 Russian Twists on incline bench (10 lb. ball)
* 25 weighted sit-ups on incline bench (10 lb. ball)
* 25 sit-ups
* 236 jumprope
* 10 push-ups
* 8 rounds tabata on treadmill
- 30 on/30 off at 6 mph and incline of 10) <---- ROUGH!
To update on yesterday, I ate the heck out of my sunbutter and it is now gone. I took a nap in the middle of the evening, and therefore could not go to bed at a decent time, and I woke up crabby. Happy Thursday :) In the midst of not sleeping, I watched some CrossFit youtube videos and found one about a girl who used to be overweight and smoked. I thought she was quite inspirational, and what stuck out the most was how she talked about food. "Food is fuel". Too often I forget that concept and instead eat food as comfort or some other adjective. She also talked about really thinking about how food affects our bodies. What looks good and tastes incredible now may mean trouble in the next 2 hours or 2 days. I need to remember to be in tune with my body and what it's telling me!
Today I feel exhausted and inadequate. That last part sounds terrible, but it's true. I've put on the "fake it til' you make it" hat everyday at work, and I'm just tired of not feeling capable of doing my job well. I hate feeling ill prepared or not mentally available for my TAs and students. I know it will get better, but I would really love for my to do list to just be clear for once. At least the one that's related to school. I hope this attitude changes because it sucks.
Today's Planned Meals (some already consumed haha):
Breakfast: Carnitas (1 oz. meat) Omelette (2 eggs + some egg white), zucchini, handful grapes, 1/2 banana and 4 oz. coconut water (recovery), coffee w/ coconut milk
Lunch: 3 oz. carnitas meat, 1/3 c. guacamole w/ 5 jicama slices, 1/2 banana, slice of chocolate zucchini bread, and chocolate avocado pudding. Holy moly, that pudding is THE BOMB!! Obviously I wasn't really observing my "food is fuel" mantra at lunch...
Snack: ???
Dinner: 3 oz. chicken thigh, 3/4 c. spaghetti squash, ???
Snack (Dessert): MORE PUDDING!
Thanks for reading. Until tomorrow.
WARM-UP =
* Run 1 mile (8:10 -- a new PR!)
WOD =
"Fran" (ugh!)
21-15-9 of:
- Thrusters (55 lb. i.e. the most I've ever done)
- Assisted Pull-Ups (40 lb. assist)
TIME = 11:38. Terrible, and I cried half way through it. Today sucked... Oh, but wait, there's more!
CONDITIONING/CARDIO:
* 25 Russian Twists on incline bench (10 lb. ball)
* 25 weighted sit-ups on incline bench (10 lb. ball)
* 25 sit-ups
* 236 jumprope
* 10 push-ups
* 8 rounds tabata on treadmill
- 30 on/30 off at 6 mph and incline of 10) <---- ROUGH!
To update on yesterday, I ate the heck out of my sunbutter and it is now gone. I took a nap in the middle of the evening, and therefore could not go to bed at a decent time, and I woke up crabby. Happy Thursday :) In the midst of not sleeping, I watched some CrossFit youtube videos and found one about a girl who used to be overweight and smoked. I thought she was quite inspirational, and what stuck out the most was how she talked about food. "Food is fuel". Too often I forget that concept and instead eat food as comfort or some other adjective. She also talked about really thinking about how food affects our bodies. What looks good and tastes incredible now may mean trouble in the next 2 hours or 2 days. I need to remember to be in tune with my body and what it's telling me!
Today I feel exhausted and inadequate. That last part sounds terrible, but it's true. I've put on the "fake it til' you make it" hat everyday at work, and I'm just tired of not feeling capable of doing my job well. I hate feeling ill prepared or not mentally available for my TAs and students. I know it will get better, but I would really love for my to do list to just be clear for once. At least the one that's related to school. I hope this attitude changes because it sucks.
Today's Planned Meals (some already consumed haha):
Breakfast: Carnitas (1 oz. meat) Omelette (2 eggs + some egg white), zucchini, handful grapes, 1/2 banana and 4 oz. coconut water (recovery), coffee w/ coconut milk
Lunch: 3 oz. carnitas meat, 1/3 c. guacamole w/ 5 jicama slices, 1/2 banana, slice of chocolate zucchini bread, and chocolate avocado pudding. Holy moly, that pudding is THE BOMB!! Obviously I wasn't really observing my "food is fuel" mantra at lunch...
Snack: ???
Dinner: 3 oz. chicken thigh, 3/4 c. spaghetti squash, ???
Snack (Dessert): MORE PUDDING!
Thanks for reading. Until tomorrow.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Day 10: Push It Real Good
Today's workout:
Warm-Up:
* 5 min. stairclimber (levels 15, 17, 19, 20)
WOD:
* 50 pushups (did unbroken!)
* 50 squats
* 50 KB swings (35 lb.)
* 50 lunges
- w/ 3 burpees EMOM
TIME: 4:56 :)
EXTRA/CONDITIONING:
* 2 x 25 of (w/ big exercise ball):
- Ball Rolls
- Leg Raises
*2 x 26 of:
- One Leg Ups
- Russian Twists
* 15 min. treadmill push
- Sprints on min. 4-5, 9-10, 14-15
Well, I woke up this morning extremely bloated. I'm not exactly sure why, but if it has something to do with the jicama I ate, I'm going to be so disappointed. That was my replacement for chips to have with my homemade guacamole. If all else fails, I'll just try to eat it early enough into the evening that I don't wake up bloated the next day? Or I guess I could find an alternative to my alternative...
Today was my first (technically 3rd, I guess, but 1st w/ Trainer Eric there) day without my pre-workout supplement. I have decided to stop taking it, because upon inspection of the ingredients, I saw that artificial flavors were included. It's kind of silly for me to make such an effort to cut those out of the foods I consume on a daily basis yet still subject my body to them every morning before I workout. Instead of taking a pre-workout supplement, I just get up earlier (4:15ish?) so my body has time to wake up too. Even though I wasn't as peppy as I normally am in the mornings, I still busted my tail, and it was kind of nice to know that it was just "me" doing it (rather than me and some fake energy)... Sorry, purple crack. You were good while you lasted, but I'm better off without you.
I don't really have much else to blog about today. I should probably go shower so I can get to work early, but that never sounds like fun :) Before I go...
Today's Planned Meals:
*Breakfast: Protein shake (1 scoop protein, 1 banana ,1/3 c. berries, handful spinach), 1 c. sauteed squash and mushrooms w/ garlic
*Lunch: Salad "Feed Bag" (2 c. spinach, cherry tomatoes, jicama strips, cucumber, cilantro, 2.6 oz. tuna, 2 T. salsa), handful grapes
*Snack: grapes, turkey lunch meat
*Dinner: 3 oz. pork & chicken carnitas w/ bell pepper and onion, jicama slices, 1/4 c. guacamole
*Snack: 1 slice chocolate zucchini bread :)
Thanks for reading. Until tomorrow.
Warm-Up:
* 5 min. stairclimber (levels 15, 17, 19, 20)
WOD:
* 50 pushups (did unbroken!)
* 50 squats
* 50 KB swings (35 lb.)
* 50 lunges
- w/ 3 burpees EMOM
TIME: 4:56 :)
EXTRA/CONDITIONING:
* 2 x 25 of (w/ big exercise ball):
- Ball Rolls
- Leg Raises
*2 x 26 of:
- One Leg Ups
- Russian Twists
* 15 min. treadmill push
- Sprints on min. 4-5, 9-10, 14-15
Well, I woke up this morning extremely bloated. I'm not exactly sure why, but if it has something to do with the jicama I ate, I'm going to be so disappointed. That was my replacement for chips to have with my homemade guacamole. If all else fails, I'll just try to eat it early enough into the evening that I don't wake up bloated the next day? Or I guess I could find an alternative to my alternative...
Today was my first (technically 3rd, I guess, but 1st w/ Trainer Eric there) day without my pre-workout supplement. I have decided to stop taking it, because upon inspection of the ingredients, I saw that artificial flavors were included. It's kind of silly for me to make such an effort to cut those out of the foods I consume on a daily basis yet still subject my body to them every morning before I workout. Instead of taking a pre-workout supplement, I just get up earlier (4:15ish?) so my body has time to wake up too. Even though I wasn't as peppy as I normally am in the mornings, I still busted my tail, and it was kind of nice to know that it was just "me" doing it (rather than me and some fake energy)... Sorry, purple crack. You were good while you lasted, but I'm better off without you.
I don't really have much else to blog about today. I should probably go shower so I can get to work early, but that never sounds like fun :) Before I go...
Today's Planned Meals:
*Breakfast: Protein shake (1 scoop protein, 1 banana ,1/3 c. berries, handful spinach), 1 c. sauteed squash and mushrooms w/ garlic
*Lunch: Salad "Feed Bag" (2 c. spinach, cherry tomatoes, jicama strips, cucumber, cilantro, 2.6 oz. tuna, 2 T. salsa), handful grapes
*Snack: grapes, turkey lunch meat
*Dinner: 3 oz. pork & chicken carnitas w/ bell pepper and onion, jicama slices, 1/4 c. guacamole
*Snack: 1 slice chocolate zucchini bread :)
Thanks for reading. Until tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)